* Mrs. Banta Singh was in the habit of having long conversation on the telephone, sometimes going on over an hour. One day she hung up after 25 minutes."What is the matter today? asked her husband. "Today you had less than half an hour conversation on the phone." "I got a wrong number," replied Mrs. Banta Singh.
* Banta Singh was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked him if he had anything to say in his defence. "They should not put up such misleading notices,"said Banta Singh." It said , "FINE FOR PARKING HERE."
* A sardar came to the office of The Hindustan Times to place an advertisement announcing his father's death. "The rate is Rs. 360 per single col. cm," the clerk told him. "Main to lut jaoonga - I 'll be ruined," exclaimed the sardar. "My father was 182 cms tall."
* Two Sardarjis were in conversation on the beach :
Sardarji 1 :Praaji , Ise 'beach' kyo kaheete hai ?
Sardarji 2 : Tumhe nahe pata ?
Sardarji 1 : Nahe pata.
Sardarji 2 : Woh to Aasmaan aur Zameen ke beech mein hai esliye eesai beach kahete hai .
* Sardar jee complained to his friend about his wife ' My wife never agrees with anything I say. And we have been married for six years .' Mrs Sardar intervened, ' Not six we have been married for seven years !
Oct 30, 2007
| [+/-] |
Sardarji Jokes |
| [+/-] |
Love Quotes - I can’t live without you!!! |
* Love is like standing in the wet cement,
The longer you stay, the harder it is to leave
And you can never go without leaving your shoe behind.
* I searched through books, and I leafed through cards,
For words that would convey, what I had in my heart,
But when I sat down to write all I can write was….
I can’t live without you!!!
* "If u LOVE some one.....set her free.....if she comes back....She's ur's......If not she is never ur's......!!!!=waiting lover
| [+/-] |
Love Shayaris |
* - Kaho to ek lafz
- Mano to bandagi
- Dubo to gehra sagar
- socho to Zindagi
* Chand toh raat ko nikalta hai, aaj din mein kaise nikal aya?
GIRL
Ullu to raat ko bolta hai, aaj din mein kaise bol pada?
* U tho hum kisi ka picha nahi karte,
darde dil diya or liya nahi karte,
itfak ki baat hai ye dil tuj par aagya,
warna itne kimte cheez kisi ko diya nahi karte
* Mera ikraar tere inkaar se behatar hoga
Mera din bhi teri raat se behtar hoga
Yakeen nahin to dolee se jhankke dekhna
Mera janazaa teri baaraat se behatar hoga…
* Mere Honton ke mehaktay hue naghmo par na ja
Mere seenay main kaye aur bhi ghum paltay hain
Mere chehray par dikhaway ka tabassum hai magar
Meri aankhon main udaasi kay diye jalte hain
Oct 28, 2007
| [+/-] |
Sardarji Jokes |
1. Letter:
Letter from mother to son Santa Singh. Pyare Puttar, Vahe Guru. I am writing this letter slow, because I know you can't read fast. We do not live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I wont be able to send you the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the numbers with them for their next house, so they would not have to change their address. This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I am not sure it works too well. Last week I put 3 shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since then. The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained 3 days, and the second time for 4 days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket. We got another bill from the funeral home. It said if we don't make the last payment on grandma's funeral, he will come up again. Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting grass at the cemetery . Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it's a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle. Your uncle Jatinder fell in a whisky vat. Some men tried pulling him out, but he fought them off and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days. There is not much more news this time. Nothing much has happened. LoveMom. P.S. I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.
Great Sardarjee:
2. A Sardar took an answering machine home and fixed it home somewhere in Rajasthan,but two days later disconnected it because he was getting complaints like "Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai" ( "he picks up the receiver and then says he is not at home" )
3. This sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in his seat when his friend asks him "kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai" Sardarji replies "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata "
4. Two horses:
Santa and Banta had just bought two horses.Now the problem was that they could not differenciate between the two horses.So,one day Santa cuts the left ear of his horse, so that it is easy to know that it is his horse.While doing so,an enemy of Santa looks at him.This enemy also cuts the left ear of banta.By doing so santa and banta come in confusion to differenciate. So, next thing santa keeps on cutting his horse's right ear , then his tail , then makes him blind and so on .And the enemy also kept on doing so with banta's horse.At last Santa's horse had no legs left and banta's horse was with one leg only .The enemy also went and cut banta's horse one leg. So, in the morning it was the same sitaution , How to diffrenciate thier horses.So, after thinking and putting lots of effort to thier mind - Santa said - O.K You keep the black one and i will keep the white .
5. I Spy:
A dipper and a gora are sitting beside each other on a plane. It was a long flight to India so the gora said:"Let's play a game." The dipper said sure. The gora said let's play I spy. The dipper said sure. The gora started. He said I spy with my little eye something black. The dipper said suitcase? He was right. Then he said I spy with my little eye something that starts with the letter B. The gora looked hard for about ten minutes. Then finally he gave up .He said what was it. The dipper said look stupid gora "bindow"!
| [+/-] |
She's My Friend !!! |
She is every Writer's Dream.
She is every Poet's Melody.
She is every Hero's Love.
She is every Musician's Soul.
She is every Artist's Imagination.
She is every Singer's Voice.
She is every Parents' Desire.
She is every Father's Darling.
She is every Mother's Baby.
She is every Brother's Sweetoo.
She is every Sister's Admiration.
She is every Infants Cuteness.
She is every Man's Sweetheart.
She is every Woman's Rolemodel.
She is every Prince's Princess.
She is every King's Queen.
She is every Person's Friend.
She is every Heart's Beat.
She is every Eye's Search.
She is every Kingdom's Princess.
She is every Galaxy's Queen.
She is every Flower's Fragrence.
She is every Mind's Brilliance.
She is every Night's Dream.
She is every Star's Shine.
and after all ....... she's my frend !!!
| [+/-] |
Animals Love |
it will hide.
But sit and peacefully do your work,
live your life and show your love
and it will silently come to you
and curl itself upon your feet.
Oct 26, 2007
| [+/-] |
Sardarji Jokes |
Sardarji bole: Meri wife ko nahin batana……main usko surprise dunga…!!!
________________________________________________________
Santa Goes to heaven:
Santa Singh was in the hospital, near death, so the family sent for his friend Banta. As Banta singh stood beside the bed, santa Singh's frail condition grew worse, and he motioned frantically for something to write on. Banta singh lovingly handed him a pen and piece of paper, and Santa used his last ounce of strength to scribble a note. Then he died. Banta singh thought it best not to look at the note just then, so he slipped it into his jacket pocket. Several days later, at the funeral, Banta singh was visting Santa's family. He realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he'd worn the day Santa died. "You know," he said, "Santa handed me a note just before he died. I haven't read it, but knowing Santa, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all." He unfolded the note and read aloud, "You're standing on my oxygen tube!"
__________________________________________________________
Santa & Banta:
Santa Singh was walking on the road and paused to read the graffiti on the wall. It read "Padne waala gadha."(one who reads it is an ass.) Santa Singh thought for an hour, erased it and wrote back,"Likhne waala gadha."(One who wrote it is an ass).
| [+/-] |
Jokes Today |
OH! MY GOD!
of life and his own personal problems.
The man couldn't find the answers, so he sought help from God.
"God? You there, God?" he asked
"Yes. What is it, my son?" God answered.
"Mind if I ask a few questions?" the man asked.
"Go ahead, my son, anything."
"God, what is a million years to you?"
God answered, "A million years to me is only a second."
The man asked, "God, what is a million dollars worth to you?"
God replied, "A million dollars to me is worth only a penny."
The man lifted his eyebrows and asked his final question. "God,
can I have a penny?"
God answered, "Sure, give me a second."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“My Stomach Hurts”
A man with a bad stomach ache goes to his local doctor and asks him what he can do. The doctor replies that the illness is quite serious but can be cured with a small course of two suppositories inserted deep into the rectum.
The man agrees and the doctor tells him to bend over, and shoves the thing way up his behind. The doctor then hands him the second dose and tells him to do the same thing in six hours time using rubber gloves and KY-Jelly or something.
So, the man goes home and later that evening tries to get the second suppository inserted, but he finds he cannot reach himself properly to obtain the required depth. Thus, he calls his wife over and tells her what to do. The wife nods, puts one hand on his shoulder to steady him and with the other shoves the medicine home.
Suddenly the man screams in disgust.
“What’s the matter hun?” asked his wife. “Did I hurt you?”
“No,” replies the man, “but I just realized that when the doctor did that, he had BOTH hands on my shoulders.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Celebrities Jokes:Joseph Stalin: I don't care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omelette.
O.J. Simpson: It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time.
Fox Mulder: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
Buddha: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
Jack Nicholson: You WANT that chicken on the road. You NEED that chicken on the road. You're just too much of a chicken to be on that road YOURSELF!
Bill Gates: It's already on both sides of the road. And it just bought the road.
The Godfather: I didn't want its mother to see it like that.
Mel Gibson: Why do you think the chicken crossed the road? Because its a (censored) Jew. Jews think they can just (censored) cross the street whenever they want. Jewish chickens are responsible for all the wars in the world...are you a Jew??
Colonel Sanders: I missed one?
| [+/-] |
Ant And Elephant Jokes |
Ant & Elephant Jokes:
Elephant: You must be joking.
Ant: No, I am serious. What about a bet?
Elephant: OK, let us bet for 100 bucks.
[Elephant had a total of 100 bucks and Ant was aware of it]
Ant bribes a passing horse by giving 10 bucks. Horse testifies that Ant had donated the Train. Elephant had no option but to give 100 bucks to Ant.
After sometime Elephant told Ant that he had donated Rajdhani Express. Ant was suspicious but knew that Elephant had no money to bribe anyone. So he accepted the bet.
After 10 minutes Ant lost the bet and lost all his money. How?
Railway announcement - "Rajdhani Express Aaney Ki Sambhavana Hai!"
***************************************************
Once an hunter was chasing an elephant, the elephant ran into a forest, on the way it met its Ant friend,
Ant : Hey, why are you running?
Elephant : Hunter is chasing me.
Ant (Generously) : You come and hide behind me.
Elephant : ??!
******************************************************
An elephant was discharged from an hospital after an operation, on the way he met his friend Ant,
the ant said something to the elephant, on hearing that the elephant fainted, what was that? -
It said "I only gave blood for your operation".
Oct 24, 2007
| [+/-] |
Friends Forever |
1. Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend.
2.The dog is the only animal that has seen his god.
3. I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive.
4. I talk to him when I'm lonesome like; and I'm sure he understands. When he looks at me so attentively, and gently licks my hands; then he rubs his nose on my tailored clothes, but I never say naught thereat. For the good Lord knows I can buy more clothes, but never a friend like that.
5. When a dog barks at the moon, then it is religion; but when he barks at strangers, it is patriotism!
Oct 23, 2007
| [+/-] |
Sms To Friends |
Sms To Friends'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
wish u a very happy World bestfriends Day.Send 2 all ur gud frends even me if I am 1 of them. C how many u get back. U r lovable if u GET 7all_eyez_on_me
Weathers are few but spring is good, Animals are many but butterfly is lovely, Flowers are too many but rose is beautiful, Foods are thousands but honey is sweet an Friends are much but u r the best!
Friendship is a relation, where no charges of activation, free incoming,
Free outgoing, with roaming facility all over the world.....!!
hang myself_burn myself_cut myself_drawn myself_to eas the pain of loosing a sweet gift of Allah which is ur friendship!!!
i like walking in the rain for no one can see me if i m crying!!! of loosing ur friendship.
Oct 22, 2007
| [+/-] |
Munna Bhai Jokes |
Patient opens his mouth: Aaaaaaaaaaaaa..........
Munna throughs his torch light in his mouth: Hmmmmmmm..... Torch sahi hai.
(2) Munna: Teray ko maaloom hai k cigarette aik tarah say slow poison ka kaam karta hai.
Patient: To mujhay konsa marnay ki jaldi hai.
(3) Chinkie: Tum hamaisha clinic mien apnay saath meri photo bhi kyun le jaatay ho.
Munna: Apun ko jab bhi koi mushkil aati hai, apun tumhari pic dekh leta hoon aur woh prob. solve ho jaati hai.
Chinkie: Dekha! Mien tumharay liye kitni achi aur powerful hoon.
Munna: Haan! Apun teri pic dekhta hai aur apnay aap say bolta hai "Is say bari bhi koi problem ho sakti hai bhala."
(4) CIRCUIT
Aye Mamu, tereko papad aur jhapad mein pharak pata hai kya?
MAMU
Nehin.
CIRCUITm
To kha ke dekh le, pata chal jayega.
(5) MUNNA BHAI
Mamu, apun bachpan mein dus maley ke building se gir gaya tha.
MAMU
Aarey, phir kya hua. Bach gaya ki tapak gaya?
MUNNA BHAI
Yaad nehin hai yaar. Bahut purane baat hai.
| [+/-] |
Love Shayaris |
- Mano to bandagi
- Dubo to gehra sagar
- socho to Zindagi
- karo to aasan
- Nibhao to Mushkil
- Bhikhre to sara Zahan
- Simte to sirf aap
Oct 20, 2007
| [+/-] |
Love Shayaris |
soya nahi hoon mujhe sula do meri maan
aa jaao mujhe loori suna do meri maan
ashk meri aankhoon main jam say gaye hain
kerkay dil pay jaber mujhe rula do meri maan
dekho kitni bay tarteeb ho gaye hay zindagi
bikhray hain meray baal bana do meri maan
aik karb say aashna rehta hoon her ghadi
is dard ka ahsaas mitta do meri maan
jal reha hoon main andekhi aag main
chomo mera mattha aag bujha do meri maan
bohat darr lagta hay mujhe duniya say
tum mujhe duniya say chhupa do meri maan
thak gaya hoon bohat duniya say ladtay ladtay
tum mujhe apni aaghosh main panah do meri maan
ahsan
| [+/-] |
SMS To Friends |
How long shall we be friends? Do you want a clue? As long as stars twinkle in the sky, till the water runs dry and till the day I die. We will be friends.
* I have a pen which is blue,
I have a pen which is blue, I have a friend which is you.Flowers will die, waters will dry, But our Friendship will never say Goodbye.
* What is a friend?
What is a friend? She looks out for you, inspires you, laughs with you, cries with you, understands you, guides you and walks with you. That's what a friend is.You.
* A single candle can illuminate an
A single candle can illuminate an entire room. But A true friend lights up an entire lifetime. Thanks for the bright lights of your friendship.
* A friend is like a book that
A friend is like a book that has to be read to appreciate its beauty. As such, you're one of the finest books ever written. How I wish you could be reprinted!
* God in heaven, God above,
God in heaven, God above, Please protect the friend I love. Sent with a smile, sealed with a kiss, I love my friend who's reading this.
| [+/-] |
President Bush in Pakistan |
President Bush in Pakistan - Very Funny Dont Miss it..
Oct 19, 2007
| [+/-] |
Dirty Love Jokes |
THAT'S LOVE!
He got on the bed right over the woman, and it appeared he was kissing her neck. Suddenly he got up and left the room. As soon as possible the husband made his way across the room to his bride, his chair in tow, and whispered, "Honey, this guy hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw him kissing on your neck and then he left in a hurry. Just cooperate and do anything he wants. If he wants to have sex with you, just go along with it and pretend you like it. Whatever you do don't fight him or make him mad. Our lives depend on it!. Be strong and I love you."
After spitting out the gag in her mouth, the half naked wife says: "Dear, I'm so relieved you feel that way. You're right, he hasn't seen a woman in years, but he wasn't kissing my neck....He was whispering in my ear. He said he thinks you're really cute and asked if we kept the Vaseline in the bathroom. Be strong and I love you, too."
| [+/-] |
TRAGEDY LOVE QUOTES.... |
(2) “There is a time for risky love. There is a time for extravagant gestures. There is a time to pour out your affections on one you love. And when the time comes --seize it, don't miss it.”
(3) “When I see your smile, and I know it's not for me, that's when I'll miss you”
(4) “Love is when you shed a tear and still want him, it's when he ignores you and you still love him, it's when he loves another girl but you still smile and say I'm happy for you, when all you really do is cry.”
(5) “I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.”
| [+/-] |
LOVE JOKES |
(1) Husband: We have been married five years and haven't agreed on a thing.
Wife: You are wrong again. It has been six years.
(2) Why do men like love at first sight ?
Answer from a Female : It saves them a lot of time !
Answer from a Male : Love will vanish when she open her mouth !
(3) If you never want to see a man...
If you never want to see a man again, just say, "I love you, I want to marry you, I want to have children..." !
(4) TRUE LOVE
True love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about and few have seen.
(5) It was their fifth anniversary, and Al and Alice had just returned from the movies.
Alice was feeling romantic. 'Will you love me when my hair has turned to silver?' she crooned.
'Why not?' Al grunted. 'Didn't I love you through four other shades?'
Oct 16, 2007
| [+/-] |
Love Jokes |
(1) Married life is full of excitement :
* In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
* In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
* In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
(2) "God," said Adam, "Why did you make Eve so beautiful?"
"So you would love her."
"But why did you make her so dumb?"
"So she would love you."
(3) Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc.Bernie looked at Morris and remarked," That is really nice. After all these years that you have been married, you keep calling your wife those pet names."Morris hung his head and whispered," To tell the truth, I forgot her name three years ago."
(4) 1St Person: Why is your face all scratched?
2nd Person: My girlfriend said it with flower.
1st Person: How Romantic.
2nd Person: Not really, she hit me round the head with a bunch of thorny roses!
(5) Q.What would it take to get you to kiss me?
A. An Anaesthetic.
| [+/-] |
Laloo Jokes |
Laloo : yeh , sasurey sab ke sab football ko lat kyon mar rahey hain ?????????????//!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Coach : Sir, goal karne key liye !!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Laloo : Arey !!!!!!!!!!, goal hee to hai , , or kitna goal karogey ?????????????????????????///
Offline
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells
the bartender,
"JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE."
And the man's companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE."
The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU,
SIR?"
Laloo replies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Laloo Prasad Yadav was hosting a Japanese Delegation
for Business Development to Bihar.
The Japanese Emissary was quite impressed with Bihar
and he stated,
"Bihar is an excellent state.
Give us three years and we will turn it into an
economic superpower like Japan.
" Laloo was very surprised. "You Japanese are very
inepicient," he stated.
"Give me three days and I will turn Japan into the
next Bihar!"
| [+/-] |
Little Love Story |
The girl was supposed to write a short story in as few words as possible
for her college class and the instructions were that it had to discuss Religion, Sexuality and Mystery.
She was the only one who received
an A+ and this is what she wrote:
Good God, I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it?
Oct 14, 2007
| [+/-] |
One Line Jokes |
1. why did the taxi driver give up his job?
because people kept talking behind his back
lights..camera..action!
2. what do ducks do on television?
duckumentaries
3. “This little computer,” said the a sales clerk, “will do half your job for you.”
The senior manager studying the machine made his decision; “Fine, I’ take two.”
4. how do u keep cool at a football match
stay by a fan
5. I have three... drum roll!
1. "Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm."
2.For Sale: "Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain."
3."Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy."
Elvis: ...thank you very much!
6. what did the five fingers say to the face? Slap
7. Why did Nike sleep with a bag of sweets under her pillow?
So she could have sweet dreams.
8. Why did hotangel rub lipstick on her forehead?
She was trying to make up her mind!
9. why was angela staring at the carton of orange juice
because it says concentrate
10. Princess is so old, her birth certificate is in Roman Numerals!
| [+/-] |
My Friend |
She is every Writer's Dream.
She is every Poet's Melody.
She is every Hero's Love.
She is every Musician's Soul.
She is every Artist's Imagination.
She is every Singer's Voice.
She is every Parents' Desire.
She is every Father's Darling.
She is every Mother's Baby.
She is every Brother's Sweetoo.
She is every Sister's Admiration.
She is every Infants Cuteness.
She is every Man's Sweetheart.
She is every Woman's Rolemodel.
She is every Prince's Princess.
She is every King's Queen.
She is every Person's Friend.
She is every Heart's Beat.
She is every Eye's Search.
She is every Kingdom's Princess.
She is every Galaxy's Queen.
She is every Flower's Fragrence.
She is every Mind's Brilliance.
She is every Night's Dream.
She is every Star's Shine.
and after all ....... she's my frend !!!
| [+/-] |
Sardarji Jokes |
1. Sardarji and a barber
Once a Sardarji was travelling in a train. He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 bucks to wake him up when the station arrived.
1. This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 bucks, the Sardar ji deserved more service.
When the Sardar ji fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard. When the station arrived, the Sardarji was called and he went home.
Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed.
Said his wife "What's the matter?"
Sardarji replied " The cheat on the train has taken my 20 bucks and woke up someone else."
2. Sardarji on Train
Once a sardarji was travelling by train. It was high summer & the climate was too hot.
At a station came a handy-fan seller & entered the Sardar`s bogie.
All the passengers in the Sardar`s bogie bought the handy-fan but till the next station everyone`s fan-feathers fell off except for the Sardar`s.
All the passengers astonishingly asked him how did he manage to keep it fresh as before.
The Sardarji cooly answered,"Oye, pankha muhke aage rakh aur sirf teri mundi hilaa."
"(Hey, keep the fan in front of your face, and only move your head.)"
3. Call to Pantry!
A Sardarji joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee. On his first day he dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone,
"Abey saale! Get me a coffee quickly!"
The voice from the other side responded, "You fool you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to, dumbo?"
"No", replied the trainee.
"It's the Managing Director of the company, you fool!"
The Sardarji shouted back, "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you fool?"
"No.", replied the Managing Director.
"Good!", replied the Sardarji and put down the phone!
4. Surd Questions
What will you call a sardar ji who JUSt likes to drink BEER?
JASBEER SINGH
5. What will you do to make a sardarji laugh on sunday?
Simple, tell him a joke on wednesday.
Oct 13, 2007
| [+/-] |
MUNNA BHAI JOKES |
MUNNA BHAI
Mamu, tu kitna pada hai?
MAMU
B.A.
MUNNA BHAI
Sala, two akshar pada aur woh bhi ulta?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MAMU
Bhai, apnay ko char mahinay mein Tamil sikhna padega. Kuch upay batao.
MUNNA BHAI
Kannada kyun, aur char mahinay ka kya chakkar hai?
MAMU
Meinay ek Tamil baccha adopt kiya hai, aur woh char mahinay mein bolne lagay ga.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
Munna: Bolay to Apun ko tera operation dobara karna paray ga. Kyun k apun kay rubber k gloves teray andar hi reh gaye hain.
Patient: Agar yeh baat hai to mujhay jaanay do. Mien tumharay gloves ki payment kar doon ga.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Patient: Doctor aap ko yakeen hai k mujhay Namoonia (pneumonia) hai, kyun k pichlay dino aik doctor meri friend ka Namoonia ka ilaaj karta raha aur woh Typhoid say mar gayi.
Munna: Haan ray meray ko akha yaqeen hai, tu namoonia say hi maray ga.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Raat ka time jab Munna aur chinkie apnay bed room mien so rahay thay to phone ki ghanti baji.
Voice: Aray Doctor sahab jaldi aayeay! Meray betay nay blade kha liya hai
Munna abhi jaanay k liye tayyar hi hota k dobara phone aata hai.
Voice: Doctor Sahab! Ab aanay ki koi zaroorat nahi, meray husband ko shave k liye doosra blade mil gaya hai.
| [+/-] |
Love Shayaris |
Tum zindagi na sahi
Dost bankar to zindagi me aao
Tum hansi na sahi
Muskan bankar to zindagi me aao.
Tum haqiqat na sahi
khyal bankar to zindagi me aao
Tum nazar na sahi
yaad bankar to zindagi me aao.
Tum dil na sahi
Dhadkan bankar to zindagi me aao
| [+/-] |
General Quotes...So kha liya... |
Murgi anda deti hai......... ....
Anda to safed hota hai......... ..
Safed to milk bhi hota hai......... .
Lekin milk to bhesh deti hai.........
Lekin bhesh to kali hoti hai......... ....
Kala to bangali hota hai......... ..
Bangali to paan khata hai.........
Paan to lal hota hai......... .
Lal to gulab hota hai......... ......
Gulab main to kante hote hai......... ...
Kante to machli main bhi hote hai......... ...
Lekin machli to achhi hoti hai......... ......
Achha to aadmi bhi hota hai......... ...
Lekin aadmi to lamba hota hai......... ...
Lamba to ye scrap bhi hai......... .......
Lekin mujhe usase kya......... ....
Mujhe to apka dimag khana tha :-??
So kha liya........ ..:))=))=))
Oct 12, 2007
| [+/-] |
Sms To Friends |
A Friend in Need, is aFriend Indeed
friend is a tissue when you can't stop crying
A friend is a shoulder when you feel like dying
A friend always listens when you have something to say
A friend is a week when you just need a day
A friend is a crutch when you have a broken heart
A friend is some glue when everything falls apart
A friend is a sun when the rain just won't stop
A friend is your mom when you run into a cop
A friend is a phone call when you can't leave your home
A friend is a hand when you feel all alone
A friend is a wing if you want to fly
A friend understands without knowing why
A friend is an ear for a secret to tell
A friend is an aspirin when your head hurts like hell
A friend is a love that can never let go
Oct 11, 2007
| [+/-] |
Mothers Love |
* Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.
* Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.
* Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired.
* Do not wait for leaders; do it alone, person to person.
* Each one of them is Jesus in disguise.
| [+/-] |
Sms To Friends |
Kisi Ne pucha Dost Kya Hai ?
Maine Kanto Par Chal Kar Bata Diya
Kitna Pyar Karoge Dost Ko?
Maine Pura Aasman Dikha Diya
Kaise Rakhoge Dost Ko?
Maine Halke Se Phulon Ko Sehla Diya
Kisi Ki Nazar Lag Gayi To ?
Maine Palko Mein Us Ko Chupa Liya
Jaan Se Bhi Pyara Dost Kise Kehte Ho ?
Maine Aapka Naam Bata Diya
My Friend, You It Is ...
!!!...CuTe...!!!
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!!!...KoOl...!!!
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!!!...SeNsItIvE...!!!
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!!!...ChArMiNg...!!!
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!!!...RoMaNtIc ...!!!
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!!!...SmARt...!!!
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!!!...InTeLlIgEnT...!!!
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!!!...FrIeNdLy...!!!
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!!!...LoViNg...!!!
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!!!...CaRiNg...!!!
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Oct 9, 2007
| [+/-] |
Love Angel Poem |
God sent me an angel from above
To comfort me with happiness and shower me with love
This angel of mine is one I adore
I know if he leaves my heart will be torn he is My moon, my stars, and my sun
Being with him is always fun
He brings many emotions like happiness, sadness, and devotion
This angel is special he is one of a kind for me not to see this
I would have to be blind
He is always there for me
And he's given me love-times seven
I just wanna thank god for this angel from heaven
| [+/-] |
Love Poem |
YOU ARE
As innocent as a flower
As sweet as cherry pie
As beautiful as a sunset
As bright as a firefly
As clever as a musician
As romantic as a red rose
As genuine as a teardrop
As funny as a clown’s nose
As honest as a young child
As fun as a merry-go-round
As rare as a four leaf clover
As down-to-earth as the ground
As friendly as a butterfly
As precious as passing youth
As gorgeous as miss world is
As valuable as pure truth
Hope u like it!!
| [+/-] |
Love Shayaris |
Dosti shayad zindgi hoti hai,
Jo har dil mein basi hoti hai,
Waise to jee lete hai sabhi akele magar,
Phir bhi zarurat inki har kisi ko hoti hai..!!
Tanha ho kabhi to mujko dhundna,
duniya se nahi apne dil se poochna,
Aas pas hi kahi base rahte hai hum,
yaado se nahi saath guzare lamho se puchna..!!
Khawaish Hi Nahi Alfaaz Ki,
Chahat Ko To Zarurat Hai Bas Ehsaas Ki,
Paas Hote To Manzar Hi Kya Hota,
Door Se Khabar Hai Hume Aapki Har Saans Ki..!!
Dil jeet le wo jigar hum bhi rakhte hai,
katal kar de wo nazar hum bhi rakhte hai,
Aapse wada hai humara hamesha muskrane ka,
Varna aankho mein samundar hum bhi rakhte hai..!!
Pyar aa jaata hai aankhon mein rone se pehle,
Har khawaab toot jaata hai sone se pehle,
Ishq hai Gunah yeh to samajh gaye,
kaash koi rok leta yeh GUNAH hone se pehle..!!
Palakon se utha ke ye khawaab,
Sajaaye hai kadamon mein tere,
Samhaal ke rakhna kadam,
Kahi kuchal na jaaye khawaab ye mere..!!
| [+/-] |
Shayari |
Koi aankhon aankhon se baat kar leta hai
Koi aankhon aankhon mein mulakaat kar leta hai
Bada Mushkil hota hai tab Jawab denA
Jab koi KhamosH rehkar Sawaal kar leta hai
Oct 8, 2007
| [+/-] |
Sms To Friends |
→ A FRIEND is a tissue when you can't stop crying ←
→ A FRIEND is a shoulder when you feel like dying ←
→ A FRIEND always listens when you have something to say ←
→ A FRIEND is a week when you just need a day ←
→ A FRIEND is a crutch when you have a broken heart ←
→ A FRIEND is some glue when everything falls apart ←
→ A FRIEND is a sun when the rain just won't stop ←
→ A FRIEND is your mom when you run into a cop ←
→ A FRIEND is a phone call when you can't leave your home ←
→ A FRIEND is a hand when you feel all alone ←
→ A FRIEND is a wing if you want to fly ←
→ A FRIEND understands without knowing why ←
→ A FRIEND is an ear for a secret to tell ←
→ A FRIEND is an aspirin when your head hurts like hell ←
→ A FRIEND is a love that can never let go ←
•→ A FRIEND Is like YOU makes life beautiful:) ←•
Oct 7, 2007
| [+/-] |
Funny Jokes.... |
1. Munna: Bolay to darad kahan hai aapko.
Patient (F): Pooray badan mien hai
Munna: Yeh kaisay ho sakta hai ray, kuch detail batao.
Patient: Tocuhes her right knee and says here, then touches her earlobe and says here, then touches her left cheek and says here, etc.
2. Munna: Aesay hi khaali peeli tension de reli hai, teri finger mien dard hai.Aik patient Munnabhai k paas aaya, Munna nay us ka chekup kiya aur bola
Munna: Tumharay pass ziyada waqt nahi hai
Patient: Meray pass kitna time hai.
Munna: Dus (10)
Patient: Kya Dus.... Minute..... Ghantay.......... Din......?
Munna: No (9), Aath (8), Saat (7),.......
3. PROFESSOR
Akal badi ki bhais?
MUNNA BHAI
Bole toh pehlay date of birth bata mamu.
4. Munna: Abay Circuit! Jaa baajo walay ghar say Doctor ko bula k laa, meri tabiat kharab ho reli hai.
Circuit: Aey Bhai ! aap to khud doctor ho.
Munna: Bolay to meri fees buhat zyada hai.
5. Aanand jab end mien bachon ko story sunata hai to bolta hai;
Aanand: "Munna nay kaha tha k woh mujhay aik month mien meray feet pay khara kar de ga"
Bachay: Phir?
Aanand: "Phir kya, mujhay us ka bill pay karnay k liye apni car bechna pari."
| [+/-] |
Few Good Quotes..... |
A nickel will get you on the subway,
but garlic will get you a seat."
-New York Yiddish Proverb-
-------------------------------------------- A cat will look down to a man.
A dog will look up to a
But a pig will look you straight
in the eye and see his equal.
- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill-
-------------------------------------------
Once a woman has forgiven a man,
she must not reheat his sins for breakfast.
- Marlene Dietrich -
....................................
Few Good Quotes:
The difference between what we do
and what we are capable of doing
would suffice to solve most of the
world's problem.
-Mohandas Gandhi-
------------------------------------------------------
The future depends on what you do in the present.
-Mahatma Gandhi-
| [+/-] |
Love Sms Messages... |
LOVE SMS MESSAGES:
1. I asked God 4 a rose & he gave me a garden. i ask God 4 a drop of water & he gave me an ocean. i asked God 4 an angel & he gave me u!
2. Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was choice, but falling in love with you was completely out of my control.
3. It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what hurts more is to love someone, and never find the courage to let them know how you feel.
4. Cherish the person you love, never tell lies or attempt to hurt them because you won't know how important they are until they are out of your life...
5. Always draw a circle around the ones you love, never draw a heart because hearts can be broken, but circles are never ending.
Oct 3, 2007
| [+/-] |
Love Shayaris |
1. Kabhi roke muskuraye, kabhi muskurake roye
Teri yaad jab bhi aayee, tujhe bhula bulake roye
Ek tera hi naam tha jise hazaar baartha likha
Jise khush hue the likhkar use mita mitake roye…
2. Dard e dil kisko batayein;
Hume yahan har doosra diljala mil jata hai;
kambaqt yeah tera chehra
Humein ab sharab mein bhi nazar aata hai;
sochta hoon dil badal loon lekin
Har dil mein tera ehsaas mil jata hai. . . .
3. Har pal Aapse milne ko dil karta hai,
Aapki sab nadaniyon ko dil maf karta hai,
Kaise reh sakte hai ham Aapke bina,
Jab ye dil Aapko dilo jan se pyar karta hai. . .
4. Khuda kisiki muhabbat pe fida na kare,
Agar kare to zindagi bhar judaa na kare..
5. Kabhi jazbaat to kabhi yaadon ko dafan karte hai
Kabhi aansu to kabhi dard piya karte hai
Kya khub taqdir di hai khuda ne
Har roj mar mar k jia karte hai. . .
| [+/-] |
Dog Quotes... |
"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him."
-- Dereke Bruce, Taipei, Taiwan
"Of all the things I miss from veterinary practice, puppy breath is one of the most fond memories!"
-- Dr. Tom Cat
"You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets."
-- Nora Ephron
"We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made"
--M. Facklam
"Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate."
--Sigmund Freud
"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein
| [+/-] |
Sms To Friends.... |
2. I'm glad friendship doesn't come with price tags. For if it does, I'd never afford someone as great as you.
3. God in heaven, God above, please protect the friend I love. Sent with a smile, sealed with a kiss, I love my friend who's reading this.
4. The nicest place these days is right beside your friends. Usog konti, tabi ako!
5. You brighten my day, di ka naman araw. You light up my life, di ka naman ilaw. You make me smile, di ka naman bulalakaw. You warm my heart, di ka naman sabaw. Friend kita, yan malinaw!
Oct 2, 2007
| [+/-] |
Friends To Sms.... |
1. Jo Palpal chlati rahe wo zindagi,
Jo harpal jalti rahe wo roshni,
Jo palpal khiti rahe wo mohabbat,
jo kisi pal sath na chode wo dosti!
2. Wada na kero agar tum nibha na sako,
Chaho na usko jis ko tum pa na sako,
dost to bohat hain dunya main par,
Ek khaas rakho jis k bina tum muskura na sako.
3. Why men walk more and women talk more?
Coz men have three legs and women have four lips Surprised
4. Love is like a bowl of oatmeal; warm, mushy and good for you. Lust is like soup, it is only good when it is hot. =)
| [+/-] |
Gandhiji Childhood..... |
There was a boy. His name was Mohan.
He was studying in a school at Rajkot. He was not bright at studies, but was very fond of reading.
Once he read the story of Shravana. Shravana used to carry his old and blind parents in two baskets slung on a bamboo yoke. Mohan was deeply touched by his devotion to his old parents. He resolved to be like Shravana and serve his parents.
Once Mohan saw a play depicting the life of King Harishchandra, who lost his kingdom and suffered much for truth. Mohan was so deeply moved by this play that he was in tears. He decided never to swerve from the path of truth and be ever truthful and honest like Harishchandra.
In his childhood the young Gandhi was very timid. He feared to step in darkness, even in his own house. He feared ghosts and thieves and snakes. Rambha was a maid servant in his house. Once she said to Mohan: `Why are you so much fearful? Remember Rama! Rama will always protect you. Fear never encounters him who remembers Rama.'
Mohan was deeply impressed by these words. He took to reciting the name of Rama. His faith in Rama increased as he grew up. He remembered God and dedicated all his work to him. When he died his last words were `He Rama!'
Mohan's father, Karamchand Gandhi, was popularly known as Kaba Gandhi. In early years, he was the Diwan of Porbandar, and after that he became the Diwan of Rajkot. During his stay in Rajkot, his Parsee and Muslim friends often visited his house and discussed the good in their religions. Young Mohan, who quite often sat by father's side, heard these discussions. These debates created in him a real love for all religions.
Once the Inspector of schools came to visit his school. He wanted to test the boys, so he dictated a few English words to the boys. Mohan could not spell one of the words correctly. His teacher prompted him to copy that word from his neighbour's slate, but Mohan didn't. He did not like to cheat anybody, come what may. The result was that all the students except Mohan, spelt all the words correctly. The teacher scolded Mohan after the class and Mohan felt wounded. But deep inside him he knew that what he had done was right.
Mohan's full name is Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi. He was born in Porbandar, on the sea-coast of Saurashtra, on October 2, 1869. He did many great things when he grew up. Throughout the world he is now known as Mahatma Gandhi. He led us Indians to the non-violent fight for freedom and finally lay down his life for our sake. He ranks among the greatest teachers of all time like Buddha and Christ. He is the Father of our Nation. Every year, his birthday is celebrated throughout the world.
| [+/-] |
Rome - Roming - Romance |
That lights my way,
Uplifting my spirits,
When skies are gray.
Your love is a wave
That lifts me higher,
Into a sea
Of tender desire.
| [+/-] |
www.friendship.com Log On... |
www.friendship.com Log On...
www.friendship.com Log On... Searching... Searching... Searching... Searching... #Found... Loading... ||||| 10% ||||||||| 30% ||||||||||||||| 60% |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 100% U have been successfully Loaded.... Into my HEARTDISK as My Sweet Friend
***************************************************************
Build bridges instead of walls
Build bridges instead of walls and you will have a friend.A real friend is someone who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
*****************************************************************
People say true friendz are made
People say true friendz are made in heaven & dey come in ur life........BUT.........I made my friend in dis world & made my life heaven(My sweet Cuty i'll be alwayz there 4 u)(Look after urself)
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I may have forgotten to say
I may have forgotten to say that I care. I may have failed to open up and share, but though no words have been spoken, my promise of friendship won't be broken
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Colors may fade, the sun may not shine,
Colors may fade, the sun may not shine, the moon may not be bright, heartbeats may stop, lives may pass but our friendship, I'll treasure 'till the day my heart stops.
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Oct 1, 2007
| [+/-] |
Sms To Friends... |
HI CUTY!!!The seven magical colors of Joy,affection,Sorrow,Love,Care,Trust & Helping combines to form a colorful rainbow known as.....FrIeNdShIp...
(2) when GOD saw u hungry,
when GOD saw u hungry, HE created food!!! He saw u thirsty, HE created water!!! GOD saw u in dark, HE created light!!! He saw u without a cute friend, HE created ME!!!
(3) Life is a railway station
Life is a railway station in which love is a train,It ll come & go at any time...But friendship is the track it ll be 4EVER.....
(4)People say friends are made i
People say friends are made in heaven & they come in ur life,But I made my friend in this world & made my life a Heaven...
(5) A friend is one who sees ur
A friend is one who sees ur first drop of tear,Catches the second,Stops the third & turns the fourth into a Smile!!!MY FRIEND ALWAYZZZ Keep Smiling.
| [+/-] |
Political Jokes |
The Facts Of Life:
Dad: Let me set an example with our family. I have all the money so we'll call me the management. Mom receives most of it so we'll call her the government. We'll call the maid the working class, you are the people, and your baby brother is the future. Do you understand now son?
Boy: I still don't understand dad.
Dad: Think about it for a while son.
That night the boy wakes up because his baby brother is crying. He goes in and finds out he's soiled his diapers. He goes to tell his mom but she's asleep he goes in to the maids room but she's in there having sex with his dad. He bangs on the door but no one can here him.
The next day...
Son: Dad I understand politics now.
Dad: Good, explain it to me in your own words son.
Son: The management is screwing the working class while the government's fast asleep. The people are being ignored and the future is full of SHIT!
| [+/-] |
Funny Photos...... |
“No one who cannot rejoice in the discovery of his own mistakes deserves to be called a scholar”
