JOKES TODAY

Jul 2, 2009

Delhi High Court judgement decriminalising gay sex.

Indian film, fashion celebs rejoice as gayness is decriminalised

"Historic!" That is how the film and fashion fraternities have hailed on Thursday's Delhi High Court judgement decriminalising gay sex. Hailing India as great, they said the verdict would give more independence to the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender (LGBT) community.

Hairstylist Sylvie, who is a homosexual, said, "This is a day to go down in history that a place like India has come to terms with the issue with a big touch of humanity and definitely recognised citizens' comfort of being open about their sexuality," Sylive told IANS.

Tarun Mansukhani, whose film "Dostana" starring John Abraham and Abhishek Bachchan lightheartedly touched upon homosexuality, hailed the court's decision.

"Dostana as a film only brought the subject into public limelight and had people speak about it and created a certain amount of awareness and acceptance among people - but what the court has done today shows that we do live in a great country," Mansukhani told IANS over phone from Mumbai.

"Today, they (gays) have an identity, their independence - it's a great country," he added.

On Thursday, the Delhi High Court struck down section 377 of the Indian Penal Code that called homosexuality and unnatural sex a criminal act. It said equality and inclusiveness were the tenets of the constitution.

Director Onir, who handled the gay issue in his film "My Brother Nikhil" in a realistic way and received critical appreciation for his endeavour, says the court's verdict sends out a strong message to everyone.

"At the moment, this is a judgement that has been passed by the Delhi High Court. So it doesn't stand for the entire country. The government is still to approve it and implement it, but a very strong message has been sent. It's a very big step and I hope that the legislature implements it," he said.

"I do feel that films have contributed as far as acceptance is concerned. But in our films, homosexuals have mostly been portrayed as caricatures and the main issue has not been tackled. So I won't want to take away the credit of this judgement from people who have really worked for it for years. They are the real people," he added.

Another critically acclaimed filmmaker, Madhur Bhandarkar, who touched upon the homosexuality issue in his successful movies "Page 3" and "Fashion", says it's high time society opened up and created space for these people.

"It is a historic decision and brings big relief to the gay community. They have been fighting for years for their rights and finally the day has arrived. I believe now society has to shed its inhibitions and accept them because it takes a lot to change the mindset of people which indeed would be a slow process," said Bhandarkar.

Esha Koppikhar is one of the rare Bollywood actresses to have played a homosexual in "Girlfriend". She feels the verdict will help homosexuals come out of the closet and lead a normal life.

She said: "People have a right to choose their partner as life is beautiful and you want to be with someone you love irrespective of your sexual orientation.

"It's good that now homosexuals would be open about their sexual preferences unlike before when they used to be shy about it. It would have been difficult for them otherwise. After all, who wants to live a life of dual identity?"

Fashion designer Parvesh is also happy for the gay community. "Indian culture was very elaborate from ancient times and sexuality is a very personal decision. Hence it is good to know that government has finally opened its eyes on section 377.

"It is a great achievement," he said.

Standup comedian Vir Das said: "I think in the last five years our courts have really been like rock stars with their verdicts. They have meted out justice intelligently.

"I wouldn't give Hindi films too much credit. I think Hindi films tend to handle everything lightly. So I feel they do not have no bearing on how we view gay rights at all."

Expressing her happiness over the court's decision, actress and gay activist Celina Jaitley said: "With great pride and tears I would like to congratulate the entire LGBT community. Homosexuality is now legal in India. Our long battle is won and with pride can the gay walk with their heads held high."

Manavendra Singh Gohil, an erstwhile Gujarat royal who is gay and an activist at that, said it would be "a very good idea to call this day as the 'Queer Independence Day of India'".

"I want to congratulate all intellectuals and activists who have been working actively for the gay community. This verdict also sends out a clear message to other countries who still believe that India is a land of bullet carts and snake charmers. We will be governed by reasons of realities alone and now our morality will be guided by these realities," he said.

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Jul 1, 2009

Jyoti Amge is shortest girl in the country



The Limca Book of Records calls her the shortest girl in the country.

According to some surveys, Jyoti Amge, 15, who is just 23 inches tall (1 foot, 11 inches) and weighs only 5 kilograms, is the shortest teenager in the world. Soon she may feature in the Guinness Book of World Records.

When she was three or four her parents Kishan and Ranjana Amge noticed that their daughter's growth was not normal. After consulting with doctors they discovered she has a form of dwarfism called achondroplasia. Most parents would have been dejected to know this, but not the Amges. In spite of Jyoti's physical limitations, they know she is an incredible human being, a most special child.

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Pathan to Marry Shivangi Dev


Pathan to wed long-time girlfriend

India all-rounder Irfan Pathan said that he was all set to marry Shivangi Dev, the daughter of an Indian diplomat in Australia and his girlfriend of six years. “I am sure that I will marry Shivangi, but it will take another year-and-a-half,” Pathan said. “It’s a long cricketing season ahead and I want to focus on my cricket now.”

Shivangi works as a chartered accountant in Australia and also teaches dance. Talk of their relationship had started when Irfan chose to stay back in Australia after India’s last tour there. He subsequently proposed her in 2006. Subsequently, Shivangi made two trips to Irfan’s Vadodara home.

The relationship had earlier been kept under wrap because of resistance from the two families. While Pathan’s mother didn’t comment on the wedding, Irfan’s father, Mehboob Khan Pathan, said, “Jab miya biwi raazi, toh kya karega kaazi?” (If the bride and groom are ready to get married, what can one do?)

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Love Jokes...BE A GOOD LOVER


* A young bride and groom-to-be had just selected the wedding ring. As the girl admired the plain platinum and diamond band, she suddenly looked concerned. "Tell me," she asked the elderly salesman "is there anything special I'll have to do to take care of this ring?" With a fatherly smile, the salesman said, "One of the best ways to protect a wedding ring is to dip it in dishwater three times a day."

* Teenagers express their burning desires to be different by dressing exactly alike.

* Hey friend
remember that without

stupidity there can be no wisdom ..

& without ugliness there can be no beauty..

so the world needs YOU after all!

* THE PERSONAL QUALITIES NECESSARY TO BE A GOOD LOVER:

"One of you should know how to write a check. Because even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills."

* A man and womam got divorced after about three years. The woman decided to find another
man. She went out and dated several men, but could not find one who satsifed her in bed.
So she decided to try a woman. She went to different places and bars trying to find
someone. Then she met this woman They talked and hit it off ok. So they went home and went
to bed together. After they had finished having sex the woman said you know that wasn't
all that good. At this point the other woman rolled over and said "That's OK, sugar. You
weren't any better when we were married."

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Jun 30, 2009

Lovely Poems...har saans se yaad wo aati hai,


* Hum bhule bhi to kaise unhe,
har saans se yaad wo aati hai,
pyar karke jaan jaye sabi,
takdeer kya-kya rang dikhati hai,
parwane ki mahobat bdi sabse,
shma fir b usse jalaati hai,
har mahobat ka anjaam hai,
parwane ki misaal yhi btaati hai,
hum raakh huye pyar mein unke,
jo bankar shma mujhe bulaati hai.

* Koi Gham Nahi Magar Dil Udas hai,
Tujh se Koi Rishta nh Pir bi ek ass hai,
Bahot hai Apny Magar tu ek Khaas hai,

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“Kicking the habit is on you, and marriage is on us,”

Kick butt, Saudi govt will pay for wedding

The catchy slogan, “Kicking the habit is on you, and marriage is on us,” is meant to entice young grooms to give up smoking by offering an attractive incentive.

And, indeed, hundreds have expressed interest in the first anti-smoking drive of its kind in the kingdom, with one man saying he is ready to take up smoking just to be eligible for the grand prize — an all-expensespaid wedding.

In much of the Arab world, the groom alone bears the cost of getting married, including an expensive party, a dowry and a fully furnished house. Men often put off marriage until they’ve saved enough money to take a bride.

Several commentators have complained that the campaign is turning women into a commodity, but organizers have taken the criticism in stride, saying they’re thrilled to get people talking about the dangers of smoking. About one quarter of Saudi Arabia’s 27.6 million residents indulge.

Since June 20, banners have gone up on overpasses and bridges over the Saudi capital’s major highways, depicting the campaign slogan in pink and reddish brown. Next to it are the faceless outlines of a bride, dressed in white and carrying a bouquet of flowers, and of a man wearing a black, ceremonial cloak over his white thobe, the traditional robe Saudi men wear.

The quit-smoking-drive is also being advertised in malls, at universities and in magazines. The organizer, a local charity called Purity, stipulates that the marriage is the man’s first and that he has a recent marriage contract. In Islam, the contract is usually signed before a couple moves in together.

Adraw on August 6 will include the names of the men who successfully quit smoking in a weeklong course. The winner will have all wedding expenses paid while 20 runners-up will get free furniture. Sulaiman al-Soby, secretary general of Purity, said the aim is to create a smoke-free family. One-third of Saudi school children live in homes with smokers, according to a 2007 health survey.

Al-Soby said he expects thousands to take part in the campaign, which only covers the capital Riyadh, a metropolis of 5 million. Ali al-Abdullah said he wouldn’t have attempted to quit without the new incentive. The 22-year-old, who is engaged to his cousin, smokes a pack-and-a-half a day.

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LOVE MAKING TIPS


* Love is like art... the more you practice the better it gets.

* To love a thing is to want it to live.

* I love you when you bow in your mosque, kneel in your temple, pray in your church. For you and I are sons of one religion, and it is the spirit.
Kahlil Gibran

* Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener!

* An archaeologist is best husband a woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her."
Agatha Christie

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Jun 28, 2009

Banned Ad, BMW M5

Due to some reasons by grey, dull executive people; this advert was banned

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Jun 25, 2009

Funny Dogs





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Love Tips...A successful marriage is the final realization of a romantic attraction.


What's Wrong with Marrying for Love?

Falling in love is the expected and proper prelude to marriage. As presently interpreted, this means that you marry for love and that you work at it after marriage. A successful marriage is the final realization of a romantic attraction.

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Sardarji Jokes


* Sardar & his wife buy coffee in a shop.
Sardar says... Drink quickly......
Wife asks why...
sardar says hot coffee Rs5 and cold coffee Rs10

* Sardar 2 Dukandar
Sardar 2 Dukandar:
Ek dabba condom to de.
Dukndar: Sardar G aaj koi bara program hai?
Sardar: Kahan yar, tumhari bhabi ne mungwaya hy k aj mehman aa rahe ha.

* Santa Singh: "My doctor told me to drink carrot juice after a hot bath to cure my cold."
Banta Singh: "Does it work?"
Santa Singh: "I don't know... I can never finish drinking the hot bath."

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Jun 24, 2009

AMAZING ROADS English Channel Beautiful Roads Amazing Video


Amazing Roads - For more funny movies, click here

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Jun 21, 2009

7 Things to Consider Before You Get Married


You want a rewarding and fulfilling marriage? You can have one, but you need a dose of reality first. Here are things you need to say “I do” to before walking down the aisle…

Do you have a sense of humor?
A sense of humor is vital, and the first person you have to laugh at is yourself. Consider this- men and women have to hook up on some level to propagate the species, proving God has a sense of humor. He obviously assumed we would too.

Do you know you’ll have to work? Hard?
I solicited the opinion of dozens of women for this topic, and the feedback was unanimous. You have to be willing to work. Some women think if you’re a perfect match, your marriage shouldn’t be work. Those people are called divorcees. It’s true your marriage shouldn’t be work every hour of every day, but there will be days when your marriage will require extra energy (a term I prefer over “work”). Like Grandpa used to say, anything worth having is worth working for. Welcome to Marriage 101.

Do you realize marriage is not 50/50?
Gotcha! You figure you’ll give half, he’ll give half and you’ll meet somewhere in the middle. You poor, poor dear. The reality is, there will be some days you’ll give 90% and you may or may not get 10% back. There may be weeks or months that pass with the scales out of whack. Remember- you committed your whole life to him, and in your lifetime the scales will shift back in your favor. Interestingly, the scales will align faster if you abandon the scorecard and self-pity.

Do you have a general acceptance of your significant other’s shortcomings?
Does he leave the toilet seat up? Get over it. Are his table manners a fright? Look the other way. Is he a tight-wad? You better be at one with strict budgets. Try seeing your new hubby’s annoying habits as endearing. In addition to his positive traits, his quirks make him who he is. Figure out a way to truly accept the whole package- the good, the bad and the ugly.

Do you have expectations of your marriage or soon-to-be-spouse?
If you said “I do” to this one, start goggling divorce attorneys now. Fundamental expectations like being treated well, being faithful, or being honest are covered by your wedding vows. If you want a long lasting marriage, let go of any romance novel or Lifetime movie expectations you have. The men in Hollywood are actors. Real men, generally speaking, are not geared for romance and eloquent, loving speeches. With this attitude, you’ll better enjoy the thoughtful little things your new husband does. Lowered expectations and happily ever after go hand in hand.

Do you know comparisons are a death sentence for marriages?
Like fingerprints, marriages are unique and specific to the two individuals involved and the one-of-a-kind bond they create. Instead of scowling at your husband when your friend brags about the romantic vacation her husband took her on, just smile. Maybe your friend left out how her husband ogled other women on the beach or said something at dinner that made her cry. You never know what goes on behind closed doors- be secure in what you and your husband share and the knowledge that it works for you.

Do you know your fiancé is bilingual?
Read a couple books about how men communicate or have a sit-down with your aunts and grandma. We think we grasp the Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus concept, but we don’t. He may not say “I love you” 14 times a day, but he might fill your car when it’s out of gas, maybe he’ll cover you with a blanket when you’re cold, he may bring you a glass of wine when you’re in the tub, or he might listen to stories about the kids when he just wants to crawl in a hole and go to sleep. You have to learn to read, understand and appreciate man-speak.

In order for a marriage to be successful, reality can’t be sugar-coated. Long term commitments are not for the faint of heart. A lasting union takes a great deal of love, patience, true grit and guts. The benefits are countless. I’ll leave you to discover those on your own.


source

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Jun 15, 2009

Love Quotes ...i will miss you


* Don’t shed your tears for someone who hurt you.Don’t long for the person if they left. Don’t feel sorry if you failed, when you tried your best, someone is out there more deserved for your time and love.

* Don't be too good i will miss you. Don't be too caring, I might like you. Don't be too sweet, I might fall. It's hard for me to love you
when you won't love me after all...

* If I beckoned for your love
would you open your heart?
If I asked for your tenderness
would you kiss my tears away?
If I came to you willingly
would you give me your love?
If I whispered I love you,
what would you say?

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Jun 14, 2009

Indian girl, 15, is world's smallest teenager at 2ft tall

The world's smallest teenager, Jyoti Amge from India, is less than two foot tall at the age of 15.



Jyoti, who is half the size of her two-year-old nephew, is treated as a celebrity in her home town of Nagpur.

She weights 12lbs - only 9lbs more than her weight at birth - and stands 1ft 11ins tall.

Jyoti, who is set to feature on Channel 4's Bodyshock programme on June 11, dreams of becoming an actress and is believed by many to be the reincarnation of a goddess.

"When I tell people my age they don't believe me," she said, "When I was three I realised that I was different to the rest of the kids.

"I thought that everyone was bigger and I should get bigger too."

She has her own mini grey uniform and school bag and even a tiny desk. But she looks like a doll next to her teenage classmates.

"I am proud of being the smallest girl. I love all the attention I get," she said. "I'm not scared of being small, and I don't regret being small.

"I am sure there are many people in this world who are dwarves like me. I'm just the same as other people. I eat like you, dream like you. I don't feel any different."

Jyoti insists on living as normal a life as possible including going to the local school.

"I used to get stressed and couldn't go out much but now I like going out and speaking to people," she said, "When I first went to school everyone was so big I used to get scared but I'm okay now, I like it. I have a different desk and chair that were made for me. I'm a normal student.

"I would like to be an actress when I grow up. My dream is to do films. Amge has already had a taste of fame in a pop video for Indian star Mika Singh."

Doctors believe Jyoti is a pituitary dwarf but have never been able to pinpoint her condition.

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